Ridge Read online

  She writhed and twisted, adjusting her body, soft pants releasing from her lips. I trussed her up silently, allowing her to squirm in the quiet that stretched between us. Letting anticipation take over, causing her heart to pound in her chest, arousal to course through her body.

  I licked my lips, trailed a finger along her shoulder blade before reaching up in her hair and tangling it. I gripped and pulled.

  “Get the fuck up,” I gritted and she scrambled to obey. “You want to play, Amy? You think you like it rough?”

  She smiled and shook her head. She couldn’t move much more as I held her hair too tightly in my fist.

  “You think you like it dirty like I like it?” I trailed my other hand down the front of her body, pressing against the flesh, feeling her breastbone, the dip of her stomach, her soft body heaving with every breath. I snaked my hand past her navel and her pubic bone to cup between her legs. I thrust two fingers inside her, fisted my hand tighter in her hair, while her back arched into my chest as a groan released from her lips.

  “We’ll see about that, sweet Amy,” I growled in her ear as I hooked my fingers in her pussy and thrust in and out forcefully. “We'll see if you like to fuck like I like to fuck, baby. If you like being raw. Letting me take and take and take. Because that’s what I'm going to do. I’m going to take until you think you can’t give anymore, and then I’m going to take some more.” I pulled my fingers from her body and shoved them in her mouth.

  “Suck,” I ordered. She responded obediently. The perfect fucking submissive doing exactly what she thought I wanted. But she had no idea what I wanted. She didn’t know what I wanted to do to her, and she probably would be terrified if she did.

  “Stop.” I pressed my hand between her ass cheeks and slid my fingers through her swollen lips from behind as I admired the hemp binding her arms behind her.

  “You want me to fuck this sweet cunt like I like it, baby?”

  She nodded nearly imperceptibly as her thighs shifted together.

  “Answer me.” I tugged at her hair, her neck arched in a perfect line, head thrown back, ear pressed to my lips.

  ‘”Yes,” she hissed.

  “Move.” I pushed her roughly ahead of me a few steps to the floor-to-ceiling windows that overlooked the city.

  “Want all of Portland to watch me fuck you? See the slut you are? How you like to be used and abused?” I pushed her against the window as I pulled the zipper down on my pants and pulled my dick out. “I hope you're ready, sweet Amy, because I’m not waiting. And I’m not holding back. Hear me?”

  “Yes,” she muttered, her body pressed to the cold window.

  “And remember, Amy. You asked for it.” I pulled a condom out of my pocket and rolled it down my thick length.

  Her head turned to the side, cheek pressed to the window, her lips popped open as heavy pants wracked her body, her breath fogging the cold panes of glass. I pulled her hips back before thrusting into her in one hard motion. She wasn’t completely wet, not fully aroused. I think there was a tinge of fear in her body, but that’s what I wanted, what I needed, what made this sweeter.

  “Ah, sweet Amy, are you scared?” I bit at her earlobe as I tugged on the rope to get her to answer.

  “No,” she croaked as I gripped at her hip to slam into her. I pounded and pulled, found my rhythm as she slowly loosened her body and accepted me. I didn’t hit the end of her from this position, but she was so fucking tight from behind, it lit my nerve endings with fire.

  “Don’t come, Amy. Don’t you dare come,” I growled as I threw my arm up to land at the wall in front of her face. I gripped her chin between my fingers and turned her to look at me.

  “You want my lips? Want me sweet? Caressing your body with my hands, slow and steady with my dick? Want me to kiss you? Show you how much you mean to me?”

  She nodded as I saw tears prick her eyes. Yes, that was it. That was the fear ratcheting up one more notch. Just enough to make my balls start the slow burn that told me release was imminent. Just enough to give me the escape from Mia's taunting eyes as I plowed into someone else.

  “Too fucking bad, baby. You wanted to play. This isn’t playing. I don’t play. I fuck. I fuck dirty. Just remember that you asked for it.” One tear spilled down her cheek, as the second time today I denied her my lips. “The rope is going to leave some pretty red patterns on your skin, Amy. You may even see it tomorrow. What will you tell people when you try to hide the rope burn on your arms?”

  Another tear fell and I pushed her head back toward the glass, unwilling to look in her pleading eyes, before I closed my eyes tight, clutched at her breast with one hand, digging my nails into the soft flesh and came full force into her body.

  I slowed my pumping, letting the orgasm race through my system, flood my veins, dance through the synapses of my brain, before I leaned my head against her neck, my nose buried in her hair as I came down from my high.

  Amy was still trembling when I pulled out of her. I'm not sure if it was her body strung so tightly from the need to release or fear, but I didn't care. I loosened the rope at her wrists before walking away, heading straight to the bathroom without looking back.

  I was the happiest I could be without her and I might have just fucked it all up by showing Amy what I needed.

  How I fed off her fear to get off. It gave me the strongest orgasms I’d ever had. All orgasms were good orgasms, but the ones that walked the line between pain and pleasure were bliss.

  I pulled the condom off my softening dick before throwing it in the trash. I jumped into the shower without a second thought of the naked girl I’d fucked and left trembling against the window in my living room.

  Part of me felt bad, but the biggest piece hoped she would see the truth, embrace her fight or flight instinct, and get the fuck out. Leave my apartment, my life, and not look back.

  I toweled off, taking extra time, afraid of what I’d find when I went back out to the living room. I finally unlocked the bathroom door and headed for the darkened space. Empty. My eyes scanned the room for any sign of her, but in the darkness, I couldn’t see, couldn’t tell if she was there or not. I ran a hand through my hair, locked the front door, and then headed for my bedroom. I flicked on the lamp when I entered to find her curled up in my bed.

  I clenched my jaw, working it back and forth in thought. I had wanted her to leave, had hoped she'd done it. It would have made my life easier in some fucked up way.

  I dropped the towel from around my torso and crawled into bed behind her, turned over and flicked off the lamp, falling asleep, our bodies not touching.

  The following evening and she was still here. We woke up together, went out for breakfast, held hands¸ watched a movie, all the fucking same. Always the same. Never any different.

  Was this what I wanted?

  As the day passed, my irritation grew. Why did she stay? I'd tied her up, fucked her, refused her orgasm, left her trembling and scared. I’d seen the fear in her eyes. In six weeks, this was the first time I’d opened up, and I was sure she’d run. Who the fuck wouldn’t run?

  Amy, that’s who.

  And instead of being comforted, I was irritated.

  “Want me to make something for dinner?” she purred as she curled up into my side on the couch.

  “I’m good. I need to get to bed early. I’ve got an early meeting with a supplier.” I worked my jaw back and forth. I needed her to leave. Wanted her to go. I needed time. A separation. I needed to get my head together, or lose it. I wasn’t sure which.

  For some reason, fucking her hard and dirty wasn’t giving me the comfort it normally provided; it brought pain.

  Anger.

  Resentment.

  “Okay. Want me to fix sandwiches?” She popped off the couch and headed for the kitchen. I watched her round ass sway as she left. She was sexy, curves in so many of the right places. A little on the hippy side, but it was really fucking sexy to plow into her, hang on tight, watch my nails dig into her
flesh.

  But she wasn’t Mia.

  And I was a fucking fool to think anyone could ever be.

  My heart tightened in my chest at the memory of fucking Mia. The fire in her eyes, the way her lips twisted in anger and lust.

  So fucking hot. I craved her. Wanted her so badly I could taste her, smell her soft, honeysuckle scent. I needed it. She’d fucking ruined me.

  “No, I’m not hungry. Do you want me to walk you home?” I stood and dropped the sports section I’d been leafing through on the coffee table.

  “Oh.” Her eyes dropped and I saw disappointment settle on her face. “If this is about yesterday—”

  “It’s not.” I gritted my teeth together as I headed for the closet, determined to get her out of here, get my place back to myself for a fucking night.

  “I wasn’t scared, Ridge. You left bruises, but they don't hurt.” She stepped up behind me and wrapped her arms around my torso. I jerked away from her touch. I couldn’t bear the thought of her hands on me. “I’m not leaving. You can’t run me off.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” I turned and narrowed my cold eyes at her. My lips pressed together in a thin line.

  “What you did last night—it doesn’t scare me. It’s fucked up, but we can fix it. I’m staying. I’m here and I’m not walking away from whatever pain you have bottled up.” She pressed a hand over my heart, over the brightly inked tattoo I had for my mom. The one that represented so much happiness and sadness, all wrapped in a painfully deceptive, colorful flower.

  “You don’t know what you're talking about.” I pulled away and walked to the fridge for a beer.

  “I do. You’re not a forgone cause. I'm here for you.”

  I cringed at her words. Her voice was suddenly grating on my ears.

  “Get the fuck out.” I uncapped the beer and brought it to my lips.

  “No,” she said in a voice so soft and meek it pissed me off even more. Didn’t this girl know what was good for her? Because it sure as fuck wasn’t me. I was her biggest fucking mistake.

  “Amy.” I worked my jaw back and forth, gathering my thoughts, trying to find another way.

  “Ridge. Listen to me—”

  “No, you listen to me. Don't you see this isn't working? We're not working? Christ, I've fucking tried, but it feels like forcing it at this point.” I slammed my beer bottle down on the counter, liquid splashing over the side, and running down my hand.

  “I . . . it doesn't feel that way to me. I like us.”

  “Jesus.”

  “We'll get through this.” She moved toward me.

  “Get the fuck out, Amy.” I turned away from her, denied her my eyes, the one thing she used to connect with me.

  “Is this about her?”

  “Who the fuck is her?”

  “Mia. Mia who left her shit in the bathroom. You didn't do a very good job hiding it.”

  “I didn't hide anything. If I was looking to hide something, you'd never fucking know it.”

  “You're an asshole.”

  “Yep.”

  I heard her huff before slipping out the door.

  I picked up my beer, walked to the sliding doors, and threw them open. I pulled my battered pack of Dunhills and lighter off the table and lit one as I stood on the balcony, overlooking the city. The harbor was quiet as all the fishermen were home on Sunday evening with their families. Enjoying relationships. Spending the time in their blissful bubbles, just to get up tomorrow morning and doing it all over again.

  I sucked in a long inhale, then looked down the street as the cloud of smoke pushed past my lips. I watched Amy, speed walking the few blocks to her apartment. I watched her, arms swinging, purse over one shoulder, dark blonde hair flying. She was beautiful.

  Beautiful and fucking stupid for letting me in.

  Thinking she could save me. Fix me.

  No one can be saved, a foolish endeavor on anyone’s part.

  What was it with women always wanting to be the one to save the guy? When would they learn that people don’t change unless they want to? No chick in history ever changed a man that hadn't already wanted to do so.

  And my sexual preferences, the fact that I got off on fear, the passion elicited from anger, would never change. It was how I was wired. My dick pounded in my pants at the thought of a tremor of emotion ripping through a woman’s body as I took her from behind.

  That mixture of lust and vulnerability that shaded her eyes as I pushed into her. My hand around her throat, walking the razor-fine edge of pleasure and pain, danger and lust. It got me off.

  I took another pull of my cigarette and tipped the beer to my lips, taking a long gulp before plopping down on the lounger. I threw my legs up to rest against the railing and tipped my head to the sky. I finished my cigarette and watched deep blues and light pinks streak across the blue as the sun set on another fucking day where I was no closer to Mia, no closer to myself, and angrier than ever.

  My mind drifted back to an intense scene we had once we'd been together a few months.

  Mia and I had been pushing the limits since we'd met.

  What we had was never innocent.

  “Make it hurt, tighter.” She tested the bindings of the hemp rope and her body swung out. I gripped at her ankles, stilling her.

  My eyebrows arched in surprise, our eyes waging some silent battle.

  “You look beautiful. Fuckable.” I trailed my teeth up the arch of her foot, over her ankle to land in a soft nibble at her knee.

  She tensed, her chest panting with heaving breaths.

  “Untie me.” She growled.

  “I don’t think so, my beautiful whore.” Kneeling on my knees, gazing up at her curvy body from below, the swell of her breasts, the curve of her hips, she looked like a sex goddess.

  I could see her pussy glistening in the soft light of my room.

  I wrenched her legs apart and watched her fists tighten around the binds at her wrists. She was hanging from an exposed beam in my room. The knots were secure; the rope was tight. I imagine just the side of painful.

  The hemp would leave marks, exactly like I liked it.

  “Stop, stop, stop,” she moaned as I trailed my teeth up her inner thigh. My raging hard cock fisted in one hand, as I devoured her soft flesh between my lips.

  I tugged from the base to the tip of my dick, pumping up and down my length slowly, prolonging my release, increasing my pleasure.

  “Not on your life, baby.” I landed at the curve where thigh met torso and placed a soft kiss at the crease. My tongue shot up and licked the sweet flesh before I suctioned my lips against her skin and pulled. I sucked and tugged, before nipping with my teeth.

  A guttural noise made its way past her lips. My eyes flicked up her body and I watched her head thrown back, hair loose and hanging in long waves, chest heaving, round tits swaying, nipples rock hard and a deep shade of pink.

  I moved to the crease on the other side of her cunt and repeated.

  Lick, flick, suck, bite.

  I pinched until I nearly tasted the blood pooling beneath her skin from the broken blood vessels.

  She arched and moaned, twisted in her binds, but I held her legs open, her thighs wrenched apart, pussy on display and dripping wet.

  I stood slowly, trailed my fingertips up the seam of her lips, gathering the wetness and swirling it on her skin.

  “God, it hurts,” she moaned and tried to wrench her body into me.

  “What does?” I grinned when I reached her earlobe.

  “Fuck, I need you. Harder, everywhere. Touch me. Fuck me, Ridge.” She twisted her body again as I continued to dance my fingertips along her pussy ever so lightly. I was driving her insane with want.

  I chuckled as she squirmed, seeking release, her head thrown back.

  Her head popped up, her green eyes flicked open, haunted and animalistic, as if she were out for blood.

  “I hate you,” she growled.

  “I don't believe you,” I
whispered as I ducked my head into her neck and kissed along her collarbone. I drew long sucks as I continued to deny her orgasm. “Mmm . . . patience my beautiful, slutty girl.”

  Her pelvis worked circles on my thigh as I nipped at the skin, held the flesh between my teeth for just two seconds before releasing and moving to another place. I waited till that almost coppery taste began to land on my tastebuds. The taste that told me I’d bitten her just enough.

  “Fuck . . .” She arched before managing to thrust and lock her legs around my naked waist. She locked her ankles and worked her pussy against my straining cock. She was rubbing, finding, searching, seeking, desperate for release.

  I groaned as I fisted at the flesh of one of her tits. I latched on and then bit. Bit hard for just a second. Harder than normal, but for just a moment.

  She sucked in a rush of a breath before her body tensed, her heels dug into my ass, and then she sagged against me.

  Her legs fell from around my waist.

  I smiled into her neck when I realized she’d gotten off to dry humping me.

  Now was the time. Now was perfect.

  “Not over yet, love,” I murmured before gripping my cock and lining up with her sweet pussy.

  Her hands knotted above her head, her body suspended and swinging for me to control, I held her thighs in my hands and thrust into her, as hard and fast as I could. I was relentless. Punishing.

  I needed her.

  And the fuck of it was, she held my gaze the entire time.

  She was taunting me. Challenging me. Captivating me.

  She liked being fucked this way.

  She was taking me as much as I was taking her. And that threw me for a fucking loop.

  I’d been dirty before, I’d fucked countless women five ways from Sunday, but none looked like they enjoyed it as much as Mia did.

  She wanted it. Craved it.

  She was just like me.